With Jerome down the river David Rogers George, WVilliam Samuel Harris, J. and, of course, Montmorency, did it in 1889. You may remem- ber that they had all been feel- ing unwell-seedy, J called it- and George put it in words for all of them when he said what they wanted was rest and a cotn- plete change. " The overstrain upon our brains has produced a general depression throughout the system. Change of scene and absence of the necessity for thought will restore the mental equilibrium ". (George, J told us, had a cousin who was usually described on the charge-sheet as a medical student, and had a somewhat family-physicianary way of putting things!) So they decided on the River. They hired a boat that they could row, tow, or sail with iron hoops to fit to the sides at night so that a canvas could be stretched over the top of the boat and they could seep on board. That was for fine nights. Wet nights they put up at pubs. Almost 80 years on and there are lots of changes, but of course the river basically hasn't changed. The M4 has cut the time from London to Reading to just over an hour, but take a family in a boat that you have to row, tow or sail and a week will pass quite happily. And you'll feel better for it. There's more power, more people, and the quaint little towns have changed, but the recuperative qualities of the river are still there. And for friend, philosopher and guide, you will not find a better book than Jerome K. Jerome's, "Three Men in a Boat" They started from Kingston on a glorious June morning, having come by train from Waterloo, after bribing the driver of the Exeter Mail to go via Kingston. You will not get much joy if you try that kind of thing at Waterloo today, but to compensate British Rail now run a fairly regular ser- vice on the south-west suburban lines. From Kingston to Oxford you can follow their course, staying at the same places and visiting the same pubs. Though before you go it's advisable to do rather moro homework then George, Harris and J., who only took two suits of flannel, believing that, " three re- spectable young men, without position or influence, and with no experience in washing, could really clean their own shirts and trousers in the river Thames with a bit of soap." Perhaps you would nol make mistakes like that, but there are things like navigation, camp. ing and moorings that it's useful to know about. Nothing is more miserable than not knowing how to find somewhere to settle for the night, when it is dusk, and there is a steady drizzle, and the company is yelling for its supper. Navigation on this part of the Thames is controlled by the Thames Conservancy, 15 Bucking- ham Street. London, W.C.2. You can obtain a copy of their regula- tions and by-laws for 2s. All boats must be registered with them. As you may want to take a powered boat you should know there are no set rules regarding speed, but it must not be so great that the wash may damage the banks-so you will not ever be travelling faster than about seven knots. Keep to the starboard (right) side of the river and give way going upstream. Steam gives way to sail. Red, black, and green buoys mark different types of obstructions, and you will find it useful to 'have these written down in note form to be referred to at vital moments. Similarly a note of what the different number of whistle blasts mean will be handy. * While the Thames, of course, is a public highway, much of the river bank is private property and you need to get perrnission to moor. However there are several stretches of towpath for public mooring. The Thames Conser- yancy also has public camping sites at some of the locks. Armed with this informnation you can relax more completely as you skim past Hampton Court for Molesey Lock. If you make the same time that Harris did you can lunch, like them, at Kempton Park. George joined them after lunch (having had to sleep in a Bank for the morning) and towed them past Penton Hook in an attemnpt to get to Magna Carta Island for the night. But it was too much for them, and they spent the night at a point near where the Egham Urban District Council Bathing Place and Car Park now is. This is where J. woke early next morn- ing and with a sense of history all around him thought about King John and the Barons and the old priory at Ankerwyke where Henry VIII used to meet Anne Boleyn. J. was the most romantic man on that trip-Harris was always look- ing for a good place to get a glass of scotch, and George wanted to practise his banjo-and I'm sure he would have insisted on seeing the Kennedy Memorial at Runny- mede. The next day they pulled past Datchet and Windsor-without a nmention of either Slough or Eton (which must be socially significant in an historical context as the Sun- day reviews might say), lunched at Monkey Island, and through Maidenhead, "too snobby to be pleasant . . . the heroine of the three-volume novel always dines there when she goes out on the spree with someone else's hus- band ". It does not seem to have changed-but perhaps it does not want to. Cliveden and Cookham-welL they have changed and it would have been nice to have heard l's comments on the swimming pool sets, and the Spencerization of Cookham. They put the sail up from there to Marlow, and stayed the night at the Crown. From Marlow to Henley, it is difficult to realize, from the river, that one is in the heart of com- muter country. There is little build- ing directly onto the river, which is green with farmland, and the grounds of two famous-though for very different reasons- abbeys; Bisham, where Shelley composed, with its ghosts; and Medmenham, home of the Hell Fire Club. Beyond Henley the George and Dragon at Wargrave is still one of the pleasantest places to drink on a summer's evening, but beware when you come to Sonning. "lt is the most fairy-like nook on the whole river. It is more like' a stage village than one of bricks and mortar." No longer. It is still attractive out of season-but alas is rarely out of season. It is full of " Jags ", and people dressed like G.L.C. park keepers drinking vodkas and lime, and too-precious little shops. " One does not linger in the neighbourhood of Reading ", said J., and this advice I pass on. Past Reading one is leaving the com- muters behind-for the moment- and the villages are lovely. Beyond Oxford it is even nicer, but' by Oxford the three men and the dog had had enough.'They had had a lot of rain, and they slunk across the fields to the station and later that night were. having supper in London and snugly watching the rain that was falling all over the home counties. But, they did all feel much better-even the dog. With Jv0 W ith Jerome down the "river :
